![]() ![]() But when you are not allowed to feel what you feel, you become disconnected from yourself: confused about your needs and easily manipulated and controlled by others. When you are allowed to feel what you feel-to be aware of yourself-you understand yourself: who you are, what you need and how to live with compassion and integrity. ![]() That starts with becoming conscious of ourselves, of what we’re feeling and needing from one moment to the next. ![]() But if we want to stop being manipulated by unconscious forces, we have to become conscious of them. Degrading images are everywhere, seeping into our unconscious minds (as only visual images can) and twisting our perception of “normal.” In this instance, girls unconsciously accept their objectification, while boys unconsciously demand it everyone says they’re fine and everyone secretly knows they’re not. While we don’t have to buy into it, we can’t ignore it either. Even as we work to change the paradigm, it’s still being played out in social media, music videos, commercials, print ads, reality TV and what sociologist Frank Furedi has called the “pornographication” of popular culture. But something so entrenched can’t be erased overnight. Now, of course, we’re ready to be done with it. It was a sad business and both men and women have suffered because of it. Today we can’t talk about power or empowerment without considering the larger context, the fact that we are just now emerging from millenniums of gender inequality, a situation in which women were reduced to the role of object or servant. The first question to ask is why girls believe they have to share naked pictures of themselves in the first place? I’ve heard it dismissed as either “no big deal” or “empowering,” but neither of these responses go deep enough. Through open, honest conversation, all things return to balance. Our challenge is to look beneath the surface and learn from it, to use this situation as an opportunity for growth. And yet, like so many problems, it’s only a symptom of something else. I would like to salute the courage and leadership of Miramonte’s journalism student, Sofia Ruiz, for her important work in researching and writing the article, “Lamorinda Nudes Dropbox Must Come Down.”Īs The Atlantic Monthly established several months ago,* the practice of teen sexting has become a national epidemic from which no high school is immune. As cliché as it sounds, whatever goes on the internet stays there forever, and if a guy uploads a photo of you to a site, it will never go away. Girls should never feel pressured to send compromising pictures of themselves. ![]() To stop this trend, girls also need to understand that private photos they send to boys may not always stay private.Īlthough it would be nice to trust everyone, taking people into our confidence is a risk because they can violate that trust. But one must have respect for others, especially people that have shared photos of themselves. If someone trusts you, respect that.ĭelete the photos if the urge to post them is too great. When a guy uploads a picture a girl has sent him he is breaking the trust she placed in him and shows a lack of empathy and morals. Boys must respect girls that trust them enough to send intimate photos. The main problem lies in the boys that upload the pictures. “Federal law prohibits the production, distribution, importation, reception, or possession of any image of child pornography,” and therefore, this dropbox is illegal, and “convicted offenders face fines severe statutory penalties.” ![]()
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